The solution is Trunk in my Junk: male false advertising.
Women do it all the time with padded bras, spandex shapewear and other mysterious artifacts. Some people call it false advertising, while other people call it marketing. Why should men be left out? Place one of these infinitely reusable cups over your junk the next time you wear your mankini and watch the attention shift to you. Recreate the Andy Samberg & Justin Timberlake SNL "Dick In A Box" song, without actually giving a dick in a box. Women can also wear one just to keep others guessing.
Using Trunk in my Junk is easy as:
1) Ensure you are wearing something tight with stretch: briefs, swimwear, etc.
2) Position Trunk in my Junk exactly where you think it should go.
3) Enjoy the attention you receive.
Measures 5.3 x 3.9 x 1.6 inches (13.5 x 9.8 x 4 cm)